Im tired of this blog. I might just save my rants for individuals.

CBF trying to find out how to delete this.

Stay with me here, because this may get twisted and confusing at some point, that point may even be the first sentence (You never know, I’m just that talented.) So, although I am probably not the only person to bitch and moan about relationships in general. Id like to put this into words (stemming from Sara Bareilles - Love song)

“I learned the hard way, that they all say, things you want to hear”

- Like: Ive never felt this way/You mean more to me than anyone - basically, in the begining you can rely on words and passion alone - but when that fades what are you going to have to fall back on.

“Your twisted words, your help just hurts. You are not what I thought you were”

.. When someone realises that this isnt the person they tricked themselves into believing you were

“Convinced me to please you, made me think that I need this too”

.. or the person you tricked yourself into being for them.

“if your heart is nowhere in it, I dont want it for a minute”

.. and when you find out theres nothing there, there never was anything bar the initial intensity and lust what are you truly left with? The fact that maybe you were just afraid of being alone. Its a shame there are too many people in this world who are happy to ignore reality.

I know, I really should stop getting all D&M on your asses after you come on here to read me being abusive (not being all thoughtful and such bulllshit.)

Having said that. I dont want to come off like an icey souled bitch. I think the fact that its almost a social nescesity to find one person in the entire world who can make you feel perfect (without even having to say those words) is beyond anything I can even begin to put into words. Its not lust when someone knows you so well they can predict the way you will act, or when they can make you smile without even aiming to. A person who makes you realise that not everything is too good to be true, thats the kind of person who lasts, I guess (I assume at best) that is where love is found.

Q - For all the Queen I endured last night at kates (wonderful) 18th. Thankyou Dean. Thats all i can really think of for Q.

R - For retail. Im currently poor because theres so many nice materialistic things out. Oh and my phone bill… and paying my car off :S

S - Me, der.

T - This is seriously too hard. My Brain isnt working and its 10.26 Groannn

U - Uniform at work. BLACK IS PROFESSIONAL. GEE DEE.

V - SERIOUSLY. V? Anyone?

W - Wanker drivers. Dont beep at me. I go the correct speed. Im not the P plater who rides your ass.

X - I Hate

Y - these

Z - letters.

Yeah im lazy and tired.

A - Adolescents who pretend to not be able to readjust to get my attention. How little did your mother pay you compliments in order for me to be stuck saying “A full stop means you have to pause, say it with a bit more enthusiasm!” Parents please, care for your kids more, I don’t like being the mother you never were.

B -  Bullshit. I’m tired of hearing it. Those who say one thing yet mean another - grow some brain cells before I whack you with the stupid stick. Its not a metaphor. Ill find a stick, and I will whack you with it.

C - Citing. For all the Harvard and Legal referencing I absolutely HAD to use on all assignments this semester and yet did not understand until half way through (and therefore losing marks for poor citing)… crawl up Jan’s (repulsively huge) ass and die.
[Oh, and a side note for my newest member of the family, my mouse "Capsicum" because shes a sneaky fucker]

D - D for DEPLORABLE.  You dumb fuck retards who insist on blaming the entire population of P plate drivers when you people who think its A-Okay to merge without using an indicator, to drive 75 up my ass in a 60 zone or to speed in front of me when I’m half way around a round about… Don’t make me go all kindergarten cop on your ass. GO BACK AND LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.

E - Exams, which no one informed me I didn’t need to pass as long as I have an overall pass mark. I blame you for my subsequent early death from heart disease.

F - Foundations of Policing which made me subject to Jan’s horrific 4 sizes too small shirts, and Tech-mans antics… I don’t hate you (although I probably should for killing my sex drive) I thank you, for the endless Jan and Tech-man jokes at your expense.

G - For Gee Dee. (That is, God Damn) My first effort to Swear Less. If none of you have heard me use it, thats because, I’m failing at this. Ill try harder.

H - the $150 I spent on hair extensions after cutting my hair off the raise money for cancer. A poor effort on my behalf. I shamelessly get bored of things way too easy.

I - IO meaning (taking a stab in the dark) Moderately impaired - Basically the Special Education kid that remembered my name. “Hi Sarah. Its Sarah.” Gee Dee sorry for being so simple, and happy that I was remembered by a kid who sees countless teachers each day and remembered me after seeing me once.

J -  Jesi… because Ive known you since 1993, and absolutely nothing, not even our stubbornness, bluntness or anything else could stop us from calling each other ugly and fat. I sang for you, and I meant it. (Serz.)

K - Katie… ever noticed your name comes after Jesi’s! (H,I,J,K) That’s unbelievably weird. PBC. Your enthusiasm brightens my drab drabbbb days and we totally have the same job now. (Serz.)

L - Liars, Ive been there. Ive done it. Ive lied alot, and I’m tired of it. But I’m mostly tired of the liars around me. I’m trying a new thing where I don’t bitch and moan about people who I call friends, if you read this and think “Errrrr is that a go at me”… No its not (But guilty conscience is a damning thing isnt it.)

M - months, how long its been since I laid back, and actually relaxed, without something like Uni or whatever else on my mind. M also for the Month until I get that.

N - No one knows who this is. But I do. N for the random letter Id put you under, coz I cant put you into words… A few people might take some random stabs at who this could possibly be (but they would be so so wrong.) Thank you. (ps - I could have put you under any letter because you are that fucking random.)

O - O for 0, the number not the letter. That is, the amount of kids I have, so stop asking me if I am 23 with kids.

P - For lack of proper English or punctuation (not to mention Grammar.) Point is I’m rambling, so deal with it. I’ll finish this A-Z tomorrow.

Can anyone tell me if that is in fact a word? For your imformation (before you proceed to insult me in your mind) I dont give a fuck if it is or isnt but it would be nice to know.

Today I realised two things. Oh yes, I know. Revelation.

1.  Learner driving school instructors, whose cars sport the massive object on top of the saying “ANNES L DRIVING”, which speed, continuously, with the fucking L plates on.

You are a massive fucking tool. Dont teach what you cant follow yourself. Perhaps a job as a janitor would be more appropriate? A little easier. Further still, perhaps you should just take a stab at volunteer work - because face it, you cant exactly be fired when you arent being paid. I think I hate you.

2. Kids with no respect. If you were not a student. I would have you face down in the dirt. Consider that next time you piss me of. I think I dislike you.

Yep, Im having a great day.

Carvesa meirda.

I say “children” because it can portray both sexes, but I don’t believe they can be accurately categorised as Adults.

Now, If you’re sitting there thinking “omg what a Bitchwhore is this about ME” then it may be. However I actually didn’t write this with anyone in mind, so please don’t bother with the “grow up” calls and all that shit. I was just bored, and in the mood to bitch.

Firstly, if you think I’m self important or superficial then good for you. Yet I’m not exactly the type of person who creates scenes with people just to come across as something I’m not.

I’m tired of people telling me to “Grow up” - My family, deadbeats, past school teachers - Fuck you, I don’t feel like being anyone else but who I am. If what you see me as is fucked up and in peoples faces, then I enjoy being fucked up and in peoples faces.

If you have nothing better to do than to strut around as if you believe everyone loves you then maybe you need to “grow up” because guess what, everyone is disliked by someone you moron. If you can think of someone who isn’t, then oh please let me know, so I can write them a letter congratulating them on their horribly tedious life.

I don’t exactly want to play the game where you say one thing and I say another in return. Its boring. Its outdated. And hearing your voice waver as you hold back from tears only gives me a powerful but pathetic feeling. We all may feel like we won, but the fine line between “winning” and “losing” doesn’t actually exist when we all feel like retards in the end.

We’ve lost and it annoys me. Such is life.

To (drum roll) Complainers. Especially those with alot going for them. Wah.

It occured to me today, whilst listening to an almost OCD mentally broken down teacher whine and bitch about how certain people dont do their job, who the fuck cares?

Does anyone but her care that some lady in the some faculty isnt teaching a kid the way she wants them to be taught? I would have thought that the head teachers response was enough, honestly shut the fuck up before I peg a stapler right between your eyes.

Point is, School term is over, I have 2 weeks break. One of those weeks I will spend at uni. Then the 2nd i get a full week break.

cool..

That everything I say can (and most of the time) has an underlying meaning

And the way that so many people find a way to bitch about me

The way stupid and insensitive things come out of my mouth

This lack of sleep that comes as a bonus

That whatever I actually want to write is basically unreadable

That even though I despise being walked over I never stop or prevent it from happening

That I am either one or the other - Too nice or just too horrible.

That at 12.18 on a tuesday night I have nothing better to do than type this. Bull. Shit.

Really anywhere between grade 7 students to university students.

1. Why must you alwaysbe heard first? And if you aren’t and another person says the answer you weregoing to say - Why must you bitch and complain dragging out the words “missssss he stoleeee my answerrr”? As far as I am concerned it never had your name on it and who really cares that he got to say “Jamie Oliver” and you didn’t - the answer was wrong anyway.

2. Why must you drum on every possible surface - it drills into my head as much as your nasally and/or high pitched voices.

3. Why do you feel the need to disobey authority by any means necessary? It is there for a reason. Just do what it says and shutup.

4. Just stop breathing.

Here is my draft of my assignment Question 11 due on thursday. Let me know what you think.

Why study history of policing? I could ask you the same thing, seeing as I have no fucking clue what I should or should not write you stupid fuckwit who the fuck writes a question like this, makes it 1 page of typing and only worth 4 marks. You useless piece of animal crap.

Im studying the history of policing:

1. Because I fucking have to - its in the course structure and if I dont then I fail and if I fail I obviously cannot become a police officer - but being the course co-ordinator Im sure you understand all that bullshit right?
2. Apprently there’s this thing called perspective - having something to do with the way the law has developed around us. But thats just a whole bunch of crap I really would prefer to not go into.
3. Also there is some kind of change in Valuesalthough I cant really go into it because I would not have a fucking clue - it was just an example but thankyou for fucking my mind over with that one.
4. Oh and lastly, because Im really not sure I can use the word FUCK in this essay - but seeing as its my personal opinion then I guess so - Im studying the history of policing because you fuckers told me I have to, because without it I cannot become a police officer, and without that I cannot target all the deadbeat losers who think they can get away with anything. I study it, because by the end of 3 years, I will terrorise your shit-for-brains sons/daughters and brothers/sisters in law, and hey maybe even your grandparents. That is - when I have that uniform no one will ask me dumb shit questions like “Why” because if they do - I can beat the shit out of them.

Im only joking on account of the beating the shit out of people.

UPDATE: For those who have been searching “Why study the history of policing” I really hope you aren’t doing the same course as me - and if you are Im not really a homicidal bitch so enjoy the joke.